Greetings, my darlings.
I have been sent a request to address your concerns and queries, and so, I shall. You are a modicum more distracting than the day-to-day drudgeries of a kingdom, at least. While I entreat you to remember that you have requested advice or insight from a madman, so it is best to take that with the grain of proverbial salt, I think my intemperance of mind is rather more the source of your inexplicable attraction towards yours truly, than not.
Without further ado, let us “dive in,” as it were.
“Dear Aon, what should I do now that fictional loves and fantasy worlds have made me weary of my normal life?!” –Bobbie
Well, Bobbie, I certainly do understand your predicament. The waking world can be rather dismal when you are faced with the cruel nature of reality. I cannot fathom how miserable it must be to live, day in and day out, on Earth. Your world is shockingly lacking in tangible imagination; your great works of fancy are all within the works of literature, theatre or visual medias.
I often wonder if that is why Under is so sorely empty of original works of such things. We may manifest our reality in far more unique and phantasmal ways than yours. So then, perhaps, we needn’t go to such lengths to create parallel worlds of day-dreams and nightmares as you do. Under does not have such a repertoire. Oft, I find that I enjoy the melodrama of your mortal works over our own. Faustus, Don Giovanni, or even, if I am in the mood, Rigoletto are far, far superior works to anything that we could muster. I think it is the intensity and the steep brevity in which you live your lives that gives you such a gift of manifestation.
In short, perhaps, I shall say this; your world is lacking in tangible magic. But it has no shortage of fantasy. Enjoy it at every opportunity, in every form it may take.
As for your fictional loves? Pine for them at your leisure and bask in the tragic glory of it, for like all things, the cold light of the waking world is never quite as beautiful as the fleeting images we may conjure in our minds.
Or, alternatively, I recommend insanity.
“Dear Aon, what do I have to do to get your love?” –Aza
I must commend you for your directness, if nothing else.
Sadly, as we exist in different worlds, this may be a difficult achievement. But, I appreciate the gesture. If you search for a cruel lover, I am sure your world knows no shortage of such things. Yet, if you seek to tango for a night with the devil himself, how may he refuse such a temptation?
Should our worlds align while you are of the living…I will keep a slot upon my dance card free.
“Dear Aon, if you could describe the perfect woman what traits would she have to have? *Spoiler alert; it’s me.* Haha, not really but still.” –Paislee
How flattering, my dear Paislee. It seems the culture of Earth has evolved keenly since last I walked your sunny fields. When last I plagued your shores, women were so irritably…meek. What good is a conquest without challenge? I have lived a very, very long time. Those who wish for blind subservience without negotiation only seek such for that they are churlish and their power is a feeble and spineless attempt at grandstanding.
What would I seek in a woman? Fearlessness, reliance, and strength. The ability to admit what they do not know, and the desire to learn all. Patience in large measures would be required, for I am an intemperate man. Humor is also quintessential, for the previous reason.
But I suppose above all else, a high tolerance for pain is key.
“Dear Aon, if you had a choice to keep your mask on or keep it off, what would you choose?” –Dominique
A difficult question.
While our masks may seem foreign and strange to you; I assure you, to us, they are as commonplace as shoes, or, more aptly perhaps, trousers. They are expected, and in fact, if I were not wearing one in daily use, you may think me more a madman than I already am. Would you not think it strange and rather alarming if you were in public and there was a man not wearing britches in broad daylight? I think so. If I recall correctly, your western societies even have laws against such a thing.
I advise then that you view our masks in such a way; as laws. They are perhaps only a social construct, a solidification of opinions, but they are no less immutable. If there is one thing I have learned in all my thousands of years, is that the opinions of many carries real power. If enough people share a belief, they may call down lightning from the very skies themselves.
We believe we must wear our masks, and so, therefore, we must wear our masks.
As to whether or not I would prefer not to wear it? I fear I am rather adjusted to it at this advanced stage in my years. I feel quite odd without it. I also am certain that my—what is the phrase, “poker face”?—is utterly abhorred. If I am rebuked enough in public without everyone knowing precisely and in great detail what I am thinking about them, I expect I may be burnt at the stake could they see my expression.
But it would be terribly nice to have a glass of wine from time to time. Perhaps it would make everyone else just slightly more tolerable.
“Dear Aon, if you could, would you change your mask design?” –Erica
I designed it myself when the Ancients were cast into their prison some five thousand years ago. I forged it to reflect my very soul and I am quite fond of it.
Why, I take it that you disagree?
“Dear Aon, would you have looked for a way to make Lydia immortal?” –Janice
Yes. I would have tried. I also most certainly would have failed.
We come from the Pool of the Ancients already made ageless. It is not in power to grant such a thing. The only option would have been to examine the method by which the priests of the House of Blood may turn their mortal prey into monstrous ghouls; shambling, mindless, hungry things.
I would not have wished that upon her.
With enough preparation, though, I might have been able to arrest her living body at a stage of death, just prior to completion. While I could ramble here at length and perform my treatise for the study and execution of the reanimation of dead tissue, regardless to say, it would not have been a fate for her worth considering. I have no desire to taxidermy the woman I love. I am sure you understand.
Although, it would have been tempting.
“Dear Aon, please tell me how to cure my writers block. I’ve got a due date to get a rough draft in and it’s not done?” –Sara
Alcohol.
Alternatively, an outline perhaps may help get you there. Plot out where you are going, as best you can, and then fill in the gaps. Oftentimes, when I am faced with a logical problem—as I do not pen fiction myself, what a catastrophe that would be—I will solve the issue out of order. Tackle different portions of the whole and skip over the part where I am troubled. Often times, untangling the knot from the other side of the string will help you see the path forward. Perhaps that is a product of my disjointed mind. If so, disregard.
Or, as I assume you are luckier than I and may have those around you to encourage such things, seek emotional support. The cheers of others may lure you to the goal line. Or at least, so I am told.
“Dear Aon, why have you found it hard to open yourself up to anyone who remotely was interested in loving you?” –Kirsty
My dear, darling Kirsty.
If only it were that simple.
No one, as bleak and unbelievable as you may think it, ever has.
While I find the outpouring of affection I have inexplicably received from Earth as of late immensely amusing and flattering, I must make one thing perfectly clear; I am not a good man. Those of Under who have come to hate me have valid and innumerable reasons for doing so. The schemes and machinations which I have placed before my peers have been insuperable and cruel. And have been, truth be told, largely for my own amusement.
We are older than you can likely fathom. Imagine if you can, for one moment, of the torments I have levied in five thousand years’ time. The games I have played with their lives and so-called families merely to amuse myself. Sink deep into the worst horrors you could dream of. Now, understand that you have not even come close.
“Dear Aon, what is your guiltiest pleasure?” (Examples: Fluffy bunnies or getting spanked for being a bad boy.) –Mandy
My, my. What a saucy bunch you are.
It pleases me to see that humanity is evolving past their peculiar and rather troublesome opinion that all sexual behavior is inherently deviant. While the current of such supposed sin has always run its course through your species, it is comforting to know that you are all beginning to accept and acknowledge that which has always been true.
Dearest Mandy, your implied proposition is fiendish and charming in its audacity. You would fit well within the House of Shadows, had it come to pass. That said, I respond to your particular insinuation with a question of my own; would it not be a travesty for a conductor to sit as third violin within his orchestra? My talents would be sorely wasted as an instrument and not the maestro, do you not agree?
But, I will admit this much to you, as a reward for your wonderfully impertinent question. I fear I have quite the voracious sweet-tooth. Under has yet to concoct anything quite as indulgent as ice cream. And while we may work vigilantly to reproduce the product, it is not quite the same.
“Dear Aon, I’m having trouble getting my SO to be more dominant in bed. How do I bring out his inner aggressions in the bedroom?”—Keyo
I will begin by dutifully reminding you that I am not, nor shall I ever be, nor have I ever been, anyone from whom to take “relationship advice.” I would be deeply alarmed, if I were you, that you have sought me out for such things.
If you or your significant other wind up hospitalized or jailed I recuse myself of all responsibility or wrongdoing. But, you have asked, and therefore I will do my duty as I have deigned to do in answering your query.
The act of surrendering or commandeering power between two people requires one of two things; trust, or disregard. (I am fully within the latter camp, and therefore, once more, I urge you not to place any manner of value into my advice. For the large majority of my lengthy experience removing power and control from my partners it is simply for that I do not care whether or not they wish to relinquish it. I am talented in the forceful revocation of command from another. It is not an enviable skill, I assure you.)
This is a road that must run both ways and matched for it to be successful. If both partners disregard the other, then there is no folly. The same, and far more importantly, with trust. If the act is mismatched in its nature—such that one partner disregards the trust of another, either way—it will end disastrously.
Trust, on the part of he or she who commands the power is a double-edged sword. They must trust that their partner over whom they are taking control truly wishes for such a thing. (I cannot tell you how many times someone wishes to dance with me and then quickly discovers that they were sorely and deeply mistaken.) But, more importantly, and here I believe we have the crux of your situation, they must have faith in themselves.
I suspect your significant other does not trust in his abilities. He believes he may go too far. Or perhaps not far enough, and he will make a fool of himself in the process. You may need to coax such a trust out of him. Reward him and assure him when he steps in the right direction. It is a dance in which both partners must lead.
“Dear Aon, do you think the old ones will release more artwork of your world? If only there was a contest of your worshipers to create fan art for something signed by the Goddess of the page. Are you an artist, Aon? Do you create more than living screaming art? Inquiring minds want to know.” –Amber
Hello, Amber.
I will take this question in two parts. First, I have no inkling of an idea if there will or will not be more artwork released to you humans. I honestly do not have the slightest concept of what you are speaking of. I assume you mean to say that Ms. Kat has done sketches of her perception of Under? How charming. Regardless, I know nothing of the sort. As for “fan art,” I cannot imagine that she would not desire such a thing. I would take it up with her directly.
As for your second question, as to whether or not I am an artist? No, I fear I am horrid with a pencil or charcoal. Drawing, painting, sculpting, is not my forte. But, I am a composer. I play piano, organ and harpsichord. I have done so since the instruments were invented. When I am not at work in my research, I take the time to put ink to paper and sculpt music instead. I have two operas to my name completed to date, and dozens more that are half-finished.
I find that keeping myself to the tempo of music helps steady my rather unsteady mind.
“Dear Aon, what was it that made you want someone of your own so much that you went to war with your own world?”—Amanda
If you cannot sympathize with my plight, I commend you. You do not suffer loneliness as a poison as I do.
I was extremely jealous of those around me who might watch love come and go in their seasons like the flowers of a rosebush. Time and time again, one after the other, my fellow royals would take consorts and companions. They would experience the bliss of companionship, and let it fade for that they knew like the tide it would rise again.
In the five thousand years I have lived, that flower never bloomed for me. It made me a hateful, spiteful man. I embraced that part of my soul for that no one else would. I decided, quite simply, that if I could not be loved, then I would be hated. It was an easy role for me to play; I am an adept actor in such a regard, for that it is no ploy. In this, I am my purest, most honest self.
I would kill them all to have another stand at my side. It is as simple, as conceited, and as selfish, as that.
“Dear Aon, if you could, would you go back in time and do anything differently? If yes, what? P.S., Mega big fan here, you do you hunny.” –Bryony
I would not have killed Qta and doomed our world to the void. If I had known that my efforts would fail, I never would have bothered to start the war in the first place. But, if I did not have foresight of such things, I am positive my past self would repeat his errors the same.
Although, I do not regret taking Edu’s tongue. I might have waged the war still if only just for that. He is insufferable now, and doubly so when he could speak for himself. Trust me.
P.S., Thank you.
That is all for now, my darlings. It has been quite the pleasure, I assure you. I am certain if you continue to have questions for me, Ms. Kat will be happy to pass them along. I have little else if not an abundance of time upon my hands.
Most Sincerely,
